To swap or not to swap. (part II)

Rules of Wife Swapping

Wife swapping has no set rules. It is entirely up to you and your partner to decide the boundaries and limitations. Being in wife swapping, couples need not to be married. They should at least have some history of being together and familiar with each others' needs and emotions. Here are some general rules if you are considering entering into wife swapping:

* Good Communication - This is very critical due to the fact that you and your partner should be able to discuss each other needs and wants in a manner that it is the most comfortable with. If you are not happy about a situation you and your partner should be clear about it and why.

* Confidence and Comfort - Sex is a very powerful part of human experience and is where pleasure is often found. Wife swapping can only be reached if you and your partner have each others' confidence and comfort first. It might be worth thinking about whether there are any potential situations that you feel you would be more or less comfortable in and then discuss these with your partner.

* Trust, Sensitivity and Respect - Together as couple, trust and respect of each others view is very important especially if you are going to enter into wife swapping. Realistically, there will always be another partner, another personal ad, another dance, or another convention, but there may not be another chance to save an exploration into wife swapping if one of the partners becomes overwhelmed with it and forgets to treat his or her primary partner with sensitively and respect.

The general rule of thumb is that wife swapping works best only when couples view wife swapping as an enhancement to their existing sexual relationship, rather than to replace a fail one. Wife swapping is only a primarily social event. The normal social customs of greeting people and initiating a conversation are really not that different than at any other social interaction. The key social behaviors that tend to be appreciated among the wife swapping community are responsibility, friendliness, flirtatiousness, open-mindedness, and most importantly stability with regards to one's primary relationship. The pros and cons of whether or not you and your mate are compatible with the swinging lifestyle or even interested in it are many. Whatever you do, be sure that both of you are committed to it before ever trying it out.

You should remember that NO means No and should not be grounds for ill feeling. (Right!) Some basic rules should consider the parties feelings towards kissing, oral sex, anal sex, and so forth. Your rules should be firmly decided upon before you attempt to swap with other people.

Soft-Swap - it involves no vaginal penetration between non-spouses. But does involved some kind of kissing, flirting, caressing, touching, and oral sex. Those couples, who prefer soft-swap usually like the variety of new sexual partners, but prefer to save the intimacy of sex for their spouse.

Full Swap - this involves everything from kissing, flirting, caressing, touching, oral sex, full vaginal penetration, to anal sex between non-spouses. It can be in the same room or separate rooms. Those couples who enter full swapping, experience ultimate sexual adventures like never before.

Jack and Jill parties can be a lot of fun and very hot and exciting. They consist of a group of people being naked and watching each other masturbate with no touching between sexes.

Swapping is supposed to be fun and enjoyable for all parties involved. Spouses should get equal enjoyment as well as equal experience. Exchange of spouses allows those involve to enhance there sexual experience. It also allow couples to better appreciate there spouse.

Swapping between spouses takes a lot of understanding, trust, and love to do so. It is not simply for those couples who are in a rocky relationship or for those who are lack of trust. It is important that spouses understand why they are do it together and not just because one wants to. Without understanding "why", will only develop into jealously and possessiveness.

The Bible does not allow the practice of wife swapping. Wife swapping is considered as adultery. This is considered sinful and forbidden in the scripture. This is regardless whether your partner approves or allows it. All pornography that is appealing to the lust of the flesh and the lust of the eyes are also prohibited and condemned by the God.

I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.

To swap or not to swap. (part I)

I have been chatting with a young couple that are interested in starting to swap and have been asking lots of questions of Eva and I. As a result I have checked out some articles on the subject.

There are so many pros and cons in participating in wife swapping activities. Here are some of the pros:

* Allowing you and your partner to explore your sexuality and sensuality in a new ways that it is not easily accepted in traditional communities.
* It is a good way for bi-curious women and men to discover their potential bisexuality without becoming drawn in the lesbian or gay community where many felt uncomfortable or unwelcome.

Many times the female will discover that she can be receptive to receiving oral sex, but does not enjoy giving oral sex to females.

* It allows both men and women the opportunity to reject monogamy
* It allows individual to explore and learn lots more about your sexual interests
* It can enhance a couple's relationship and their commitments to each other
* It helps to build up a strong level of trust and security
* You can make many new friends. LOL
* For many people watching, their partner being sexual with another is very arousing and hot

Here are some cons on wife swapping:

* It is not suitable for couples who are in a current relationship which is unstable and unhealthy.
* Wife swapping can tear apart couples through insecurity, jealousy, or lack of honest communication. (We have seen this happen more than once.)
* It is inappropriate for couples involved in wife swapping to cheat on their partner just like it is inappropriate for an individual in a monogamous relationship to cheat.

After discussion of some of the pros and cons of wife swapping, you and your partner should be able to determine and discuss are you both ready for such relationships. Whether or not you and your mate are compatible with wife swapping or even interested in it, remember being involved in wife swapping all parties must agree that the relationship is completely open and honest.

Husbands who enter the swapping scene usually have been married for sometime. This means that he and his wife have experience life together, know of each others wants and needs, and etc. They usually have a very close bond where they love, trust, and understand each other very much.

By swapping, the husband is not considered cheating on their partner because both of them have agreed upon swapping. Many would think that it is the husband choice to swap, but in fact it is usually the wife who wishes to engage in such a way of life. (There is a wide spread feeling that it is normally the male that wishes to start this act.)

Swapping is never viewed as unfaithful to your partner. Instead it is viewed as a way to further enhance the existing relationship in understanding each others' needs and wants, as well as enhancement sexually.

By swapping, the wife knows that her husband is not cheating behind her back. Instead they both get to chose together who they swap with. (You should always agree that both of you should feel something for the other couple, not agree only because your partner would like to have sex with the opposite partner.)It is usually, a couple who they are friends with. But at times they will experience with other couples just to add more spice to their sexual encounters.

Swapping with friends can be a way to lose that friend and should be gone into very carefully. (We seldom attempt to invite friends into our group for that reason. You should be sure that they are interested.)

Swapping

I am curious about being with a woman. I have kissed, fondled, etc. but I have never gone down. I would like to give it a try but frankly, I just have not had the nerve. I would like to do this with my partner. I know it would be hot for us to go down together. I also really like the idea of backup. If I loose my nerve, then I know he will deliver. I would also really like to try a strap on with a woman. I am very traditional in that I feel that the man usually has the dominant role. The idea of me being in that dominant position is a big turn on.

I am new to the swinging scene as my partner has more experience then I. I am looking into easing into things with same room or soft swap but if the comfort level is right, who knows.......

I think some people put on their profile that they never play on the first meeting as a way out. If they are not into the people they meet, then they can retreat without offending anyone.

We both have a go with the flow kind of outlook. If we meet a couple, conversation is flowing, and everyone is comfortable, then I don't see why not.

Of course we are have not yet been in this situation yet but are eager for the experience!

How to be a Swinger

I have to say if it wasn't for my true friends I don't think I could of gotten Thur the last year of my life and I Thank you all for being so wonderful to me and listening to me cry and losing my mind I attend ALOT of party's and felt so guilty for going to them even thou i did nothing wrong but always felt as if i was being judged for going to them because you know this is the largest sex and swingers site but the bottom line is It doesn't matter what others think of you its about how you feel about your self I enjoy the party's and meeting new people just because I go to them doesn't mean I am a swinger or in that life style it just means I have a life and enjoying it. I Enjoy meeting new people and just having fun .. I can be the life of the party or I can sit in the corner and look bummed and unhappy. well that time has come I am out of that corner forever because I am me and if you don't like or love me then your not worth my time.

Swingers sites

We receive the letter:
"We are all on a swingers site, right? If that is true we must all want to have sex with other people. So, why is it so tough to find people to actually meet here? Our actual face to face contacts from this site is very limited. Probably a minute percentage of the people who contact us, are on our network or, actually write.
We would like to hear from other couple...yeah, guys couples, who actually met people from this site and eventually had sex with those people. Prove us wrong, because we are thinking there is nothing but photo collectors here."

And what I think about that:
"People are on this site for many different reasons. Although, some started off with the want/need/desire to be with multitudes of different people but just because its a sex and swingers site does not necessarily mean that everyone stays on this site just for that. I started off with that intention but as I started actually talking and meeting with people outside the site (face to face) its not exactly what EVERONE here is searching for. Of course, everyone loves sex but in order to have that sex, theres gotta be attraction there to begin with.If I cannot 'gel' with a person and/or a couple, I see no sense in taking it further.
Then again, some may start off with the full intention that swinging is what they wanted but after a while, they do have the right to change their mind on what theyre looking for. Myself, as a single female, for example..... dont get me wrong, I love the lifestyle but it gets lonely and boring doing it solo (without a partner) for so long. You gotta look at it from ALL partied here. Not just one sided.
All in all, dont get frustrated even though, its easier said than done. Different strokes for different folks. Thats just how it is."

Adventures / threesomes / partners swapping

Adventures seem to be coming to a head soon as the woman from seattle i mentioned in one post will soon be in town this weekend -- and a bi fellow from seattle just contacted me throughHotMatch-- and the woman from seattle mentioned being interested in a 3-some or watching 2 fellows -- she also mentioned having a strap on.

it would be a first for me on all three counts -- but the thought of them sends me reeling -- both from anticipation and from trepidation... it is a strange world, this bringing sexual fantasies to life.

i also have a local vancouver friend who i met through another website. she is having adventures pursuing ladies and men... and cheering me on with my stories of new people, possibilites, and occasional action...

she is thrilled by the idea of watching 2 men as well... and is hinting at 3-somes and orgies too. so she is excited by the idea of the seattle folks possibly visiting.

who know what will happen? i will keep you posted.

Thanks to everyone for all your interest and compliments on my blog.

I hope you are having a good time out there with your own adventures and stories.

Play safe.

oh. and a question for the women: how many of you are turned on by men touching, or kissing, or giving oral sex, or fucking each other? none, a little, a lot? different for different sexual acts?

Let me know.